Neuro-affirming therapy starts with the therapist’s understanding of neurodivergence as part of human diversity. This framing is similar to the recognition of diversity in gender and sexuality. The affirming approach is also similar: validation of the reality of a person’s experience, belief in and advocacy for their right to exist as they are, and appreciation of their unique perspectives and contributions. As a neurodivergent person living in the same world as you, it is important to me to engage with your experience with nuance and care.

When I talk with people about neurodivergence, we often end up looking into how they work and what works for them. Sometimes this involves exploring sensory experience, unique ways of expressing distress, and stimming. Other times this involves reflecting on taken-for-granted ideas about how to have value, how be a person, or how to be in relationships. I frequently offer concepts and ideas that I have collected from conversations with, and writings by, other neurodivergent people.

Perhaps most importantly, neuro-affirming therapy is a chance to get to be openly, or more openly, neurodivergent with another neurodivergent person. This can involve discussing current SPINs and/or hyperfixations, not making eye contact, not making small talk, jumping around between topics, dimming the lights, using the stim toys, openly stimming, sitting in the ‘therapist chair’ so you can spin, arriving late and getting to talk about how stressful it is, asking for clarification, having the “little things” that bother you taken seriously, discussing the anthropology of neurotypical culture, using the weighted blanket, meeting by phone/video/text as needed, and/or discussing your own theories about neurodivergence/autism/ADHD/bipolar.